Posts Tagged ‘coping’

What are you doing to cope?

March 24, 2020

As we move into week 5 of Lent and week 3 (?) of the ‘Rona, I want to ask: how are you all doing? How are you coping and what are you doing to cope with the staying at home, the isolation (especially if you’re single and living alone?) Send me a comment- I’d love to hear from you.

I’ve been coping in several ways: taking walks (I’ve walked about 6 miles already this week!) I haven’t been to the woods because it’s been pretty muddy but I might go later today. I’ve been listening to the Avett Brothers pretty much on repeat all day (and the classical music station here, WGUC) Music brings me much joy and combining it with my daily walk or painting session is my zen.

I’ve been painting. Right now I’m working on a series for my bathroom. Here’s the first one I’ve finished. Not a great photo, but you get the idea…

I’m lucky that I have someone to shelter in place with. I’m lucky that I have access to technology that lets me connect with people, from colleagues that I chat with every week to my kids who are in Charleston, SC and Knoxville, TN to my siblings and parents in Tennessee and North Carolina.

Even though I am blessed in those ways, and more, I will be very happy when I am able to see everyone in person again.

Many of us might be asking, why is this happening? These kinds of times are often when we question God, question God’s existence even. Why would a good God, a God who loves us, a God who is “in charge” let this kind of thing happen to us? Some of us might want to call it a punishment for some way we’re living or that we’ve turned from God.

I tend to be of the “sometimes stuff just happens” camp. In this scenario God isn’t an angry God, but a loving God who is with us in our suffering. We see this in the way Jesus suffered in his life and death. The good news is that Jesus Christ came through death to live again– in a transformed body, no doubt– but he did return to life. That’s the essence of our faith, right? That God is with us in our suffering, God can sympathize with our suffering because God suffered through the person of Jesus, even endured torture and death, and came through it.

Yes, the Reformed Theological Tradition says that we are all sinners. The Reformed Theological Tradition also says that God loves us and offers grace to us regardless of what we’ve done. So we can let go of the idea that this is some kind of punishment and embrace the idea that God is right there with us, suffering with people who have the virus, suffering with those who have lost loved ones, with people who are out of work and whose lives have been changed forever by this time of uncertainty and isolation.

Get out in nature if you can! It’s a great antidote for many things.

God also offers us ways of coping– prayer, social media (God created the minds that created social media!) nature, which is still open for us to be in as long as we maintain our distance from others. We are being changed by this, in ways we can’t even imagine right now, and that isn’t a bad thing. That’s another thing God brings us, the ability to change and adapt and move into new ways of being. We don’t like it, we seem to be hardwired to our routines and we like things the way they’ve always been but if we listen to God’s call to us, if we watch for the new things that God is doing, we can be comforted by that. Knowing that God has a way for us and is walking alongside us is and will be what saves us– from coronavirus, from sin whatever we need to be saved from.

COVID-19 Week 2

March 17, 2020

Last week I wrote a pretty optimistic post about the coronavirus situation, which has now reached pandemic status. Bars, restaurants, gyms, churches are closed and people are advised to stay at home as much as possible; if you have to go out you are advised to maintain a 6 foot distance between you and the people around you.

This is hard, folks. Even for me, an introvert, I have a hard time imagining what an extended quarantine would look like for me and the hubs. We are used to our routine– going out for breakfast, going to bible study and to the gym. The hubs was supposed to travel in April and have knee surgery in June or July and was supposed to be in rehearsal for a community theater show, but all of those things are cancelled or at least put on hold for the foreseeable future. I, as a pastor, am navigating whether or not we meet for worship– yes, we’re a small congregation of about 30 in worship, but I don’t want to put any of my (mainly older) congregation at risk. And how do I, and my colleagues, do in person ministry when we can’t visit people in person?It is new territory for all of us.

I give kudos to the governors of Kentucky, Indiana and Ohio to make the decision to ask everyone to stay home for awhile. I would not want to have to make those decisions. But I feel for parents who now have children at home or needing childcare, and for restaurant and bar workers (and others) who can’t work from home and make such a small wage– something around $2-3 per hour without tips– that any unemployment benefits they might receive will be a pittance. I feel for parents of kids, and the kids themselves who get their main meals at school.

There are a lot of people suffering right now, and right now when people need comfort and hugs it is much harder to make those connections. It would be really easy for some of us to slide into a routine that doesn’t involve leaving our houses. So those of us who like to stay home, we need to make an extra effort to reach out to the people we know. Hearing the human voice is going to be what gets us through this, so phone calls are the best (and I have discovered in the last 24 hours that zoom is wonderful); however, cards are good too and sometimes it’s nice to get that surprise of something pretty in the mail.

Child talking on the telephone — Image by © H. Armstrong Roberts/CORBIS

For me (and the hubs, as we have talked about this) another hard part is the uncertainty of it all. We human beings love our routines and we like knowing what to expect more than we like uncertainty. We don’t know how long this homebound thing will last, how long schools will be closed, how long restaurants and bars and gyms and other places of business will be closed. It is unsettling at best.

So I encourage you, as we go forward, to stay connected, any way you can. To go for a walk in your neighborhood (maintaining the 6 foot distance from others). To pick up the phone and call your family, your friends, your neighbors. To sign up to zoom or skype or another of the video chat services that are available. I was in a Bible study with other pastors on zoom this morning and it was so great to see them and for us to share our experiences (and yes, do some prep for Sunday.) For me, it is a way to stay out of my own head where things are pretty scary already and can only get worse if I let them.

If anyone needs someone to talk to you can reach me at revscarter1400@gmail.com or on facebook direct message at Sharon Davy Carter. DM me if you need a phone call. I am here and would love to hear from anyone who is reading!

Peace to all of you, and prayers to you as well.

Rev. Sharon Community of Faith Presbyterian Church

COVID-19 Week 2

March 17, 2020

Last week I wrote a pretty optimistic post about the coronavirus situation, which has now reached pandemic status. Bars, restaurants, gyms, churches are closed and people are advised to stay at home as much as possible; if you have to go out you are advised to maintain a 6 foot distance between you and the people around you.

This is hard, folks. Even for me, an introvert, I have a hard time imagining what an extended quarantine would look like for me and the hubs. We are used to our routine– going out for breakfast, going to bible study and to the gym. The hubs was supposed to travel in April and have knee surgery in June or July and was supposed to be in rehearsal for a community theater show, but all of those things are cancelled or at least put on hold for the foreseeable future. I, as a pastor, am navigating whether or not we meet for worship– yes, we’re a small congregation of about 30 in worship, but I don’t want to put any of my (mainly older) congregation at risk. And how do I, and my colleagues, do in person ministry when we can’t visit people in person?It is new territory for all of us.

I give kudos to the governors of Kentucky, Indiana and Ohio to make the decision to ask everyone to stay home for awhile. I would not want to have to make those decisions. But I feel for parents who now have children at home or needing childcare, and for restaurant and bar workers (and others) who can’t work from home and make such a small wage– something around $2-3 per hour without tips– that any unemployment benefits they might receive will be a pittance. I feel for parents of kids, and the kids themselves who get their main meals at school.

There are a lot of people suffering right now, and right now when people need comfort and hugs it is much harder to make those connections. It would be really easy for some of us to slide into a routine that doesn’t involve leaving our houses. So those of us who like to stay home, we need to make an extra effort to reach out to the people we know. Hearing the human voice is going to be what gets us through this, so phone calls are the best (and I have discovered in the last 24 hours that zoom is wonderful); however, cards are good too and sometimes it’s nice to get that surprise of something pretty in the mail.

Child talking on the telephone — Image by © H. Armstrong Roberts/CORBIS

For me (and the hubs, as we have talked about this) another hard part is the uncertainty of it all. We human beings love our routines and we like knowing what to expect more than we like uncertainty. We don’t know how long this homebound thing will last, how long schools will be closed, how long restaurants and bars and gyms and other places of business will be closed. It is unsettling at best.

So I encourage you, as we go forward, to stay connected, any way you can. To go for a walk in your neighborhood (maintaining the 6 foot distance from others). To pick up the phone and call your family, your friends, your neighbors. To sign up to zoom or skype or another of the video chat services that are available. I was in a Bible study with other pastors on zoom this morning and it was so great to see them and for us to share our experiences (and yes, do some prep for Sunday.) For me, it is a way to stay out of my own head where things are pretty scary already and can only get worse if I let them.

If anyone needs someone to talk to you can reach me at revscarter1400@gmail.com or on facebook direct message at Sharon Davy Carter. DM me if you need a phone call. I am here and would love to hear from anyone who is reading!

Peace to all of you, and prayers to you as well.

Rev. Sharon Community of Faith Presbyterian Church